Struggling To Forgive?
Forgiveness isn’t saying “I’m ok with you or what you did.”
It’s saying “I’m no longer willing to hold on to the resentment and anger moving around inside of me. I’m ready to move on.”
However, forgiveness takes time.
The painful feelings and the connection gap between you both may make you want to jump the pain and go straight to forgiveness, this WON’T work!
If you want to heal and build your inner strength so you emerge from this stronger and more confident than ever before, there’s a process.
In my recent YouTube video, I talk specifically about forgiveness after infidelity, and the steps I describe can be used for forgiveness of any kind.
In this post I want to talk you through a surprising process I took to forgive my ex-husband after his affair and to forgive the woman he had an affair with.
This process can be used to forgive anyone in your life…. friends, family, or colleagues… (even if they’re deceased or no longer in your life.)
Like so many of you in my community, I’m an intelligent, self-aware woman.
I didn’t want to feel resentment and anger because I hated the distance it created between me and the other person.
So my habit was to try to bypass the crappy feeling and get straight to connection and harmony as soon as possible.
My head told me all the enlightened things, … “they’re doing their best”, “They didn’t mean to hurt me”. “I’m just going to put it behind me now.”
And all of those things may be true on some level, but what happens is;
Our tender feelings that need time to process get squashed down by our enlightened logic or our desire to stop feeling the discomfort.
I was telling a friend that I wanted to be able to forgive the woman who’d had an affair with my husband, that I felt ready.
And she said to me…. “what if you never have to forgive her or him….. and all you needed to do was to forgive yourself for everything you’ve ever done? Then maybe the idea of ‘trying’ to forgive her will become less important ”
Wow!…… I was silent and she gave me this exercise…
💗 Take a large note book
💗 Write 70x “I forgive myself for everything I’ve ever done”
💗 As you’re writing; notice what comes up, what memories float into your mind. What feelings and sensations you feel? You don’t need to do anything with them. Just notice them.
💗 Repeat this process every day for 7 days.
💗 Notice your desire to give up!
💗 Comment below with your experiences
My experience was profound. Things I was still ashamed of from decades ago floated through my mind and body.
And at the end of the 7 days this other woman was so small in my consciousness that no effort was needed in her direction.
I felt soft & peaceful inside of me.
I’m here for freedom, softness and feeling peaceful! This is what the forgiveness process can bring.
Warmest Love
Naomie