Should You Date Older Men?

May 27

Younger woman and an older man cuddling on the couch, looking relaxed, happy and in love.

Her Question…

Dear Naomie, I bought some of your programs. I'm 43, been single for decades. I've signed to the dating app as per your advice.

I've noticed I attract men in age group 50-55.

Is the age gap 10-12 years ok? I’ve never dated anyone so much older. I live in Slovakia, there’s a low divorce rate here. High value men in their 40ties do not need to go on dating apps. Also men in age group 50-55, what do they need from younger woman?

Just love? Spending a good quality time together and the assurance, I will take care of them, once they get older?

To be honest, I am pretty childish woman (happy, sometimes I cry, I am soft and gentle, un-organized, nature loving, introvert but extrovert sometimes, loving, caring, selfish, crazy...) Do those men want such a woman?

I am trying to be more feminine as per your videos, but I will just always stay childish.

My wish is 20 years of great relationship with a man, even I do not want to put a timeline... but I work with finances, so I kind of always use timelines.

I actually start to think, I should focus on that age group 50+ and kind of start to understand their thinking and what they want. At the beginning of chatting on the dating apps, I rejected everyone 50+ It seems I have completely changed my mind lately!

Thank you.

Sonia

My reply………

Dear Sonia,

Your email made me smile….I love that you’re open to meeting men you wouldn’t normally have considered.

Older men can be awesome! They are often more established and settled. They know what they want in life.

Here are 7 reasons why dating older men can be a wonderful choice—and what they truly desire in a partner like you:

1. Emotional Fulfillment & Joy

Older men often seek a woman who brings lightness, warmth, and happiness into their lives. Your playful, emotional, and free-spirited nature is a gift—not a flaw. Many mature men have already experienced high-stress careers or past relationships and now crave a partner who makes life fun, loving, and emotionally rich.

2. Stability Without Controlling Energy

Men in their 50s+ usually have their careers, finances, and life direction settled. Unlike younger men who may still be figuring things out, an older man can offer security without needing you to "fix" his life. This means your relationship can focus on connection, pleasure, and growth rather than stress over his unfinished goals.

3. They Appreciate Femininity (In All Its Forms!)

You mentioned being "childish" (though I’d call it youthful and feminine!). Masculine men adore a woman who's soft, expressive, and unapologetically herself—as long as she’s not manipulative or chaotic. Your natural tenderness and emotional depth can make an older man feel protective, valued, and inspired.

I love how you’ve described yourself as soft, gentle, happy and emotional. These qualities are very attractive to masculine men.

Contrary to popular belief… men love emotions! It’s drama they hate, (Drama is the disturbance that happens when the way we’re expressing ourselves doesn’t match what’s going on inside of us)

4. They Want to Be Needed (But Not "Parented")

A man in his 50s+ doesn’t want a mother—he wants a lover, companion, and confidante. He’ll appreciate your care when he’s older, but right now, he’s looking for a woman who:

Respects his life experience
Enjoys his provision (without demanding it)
Brings intimacy, laughter, and adventure into his world

5. Long-Term Vision Matches Yours

You want 20 great years with a man? Perfect. Older men often think the same way. They’re less likely to play games or seek short-term flings. If they’re on a dating app at this age, they’re usually serious about finding a meaningful, lasting connection.

6. Sexual Compatibility

Let’s be honest—experience matters! Older men tend to be more patient, attentive, and confident in intimacy. They care about your pleasure, not just their own. If you enjoy a sensual, emotionally connected love life, this age group can be a fantastic fit.

7. Family Goals

Do you want to start a family? There are many men over 50 who are open to having children, and their time of life and often financial security can make them present and stable fathers and husbands.