3 things To learn To Have The Best relationship Of Your Life
I met Charlie over 3 years ago, and our relationship wasn't possible until I learned the 3 things that allowed me to let this beautiful relationship in……. (I learned far more than 3 but these are the big ones!)
Here are my 3 big learnings that will help you so much if you relate to where I was…..
#1. Learn how the hell to take those trousers (pants) off!
I remember one saturday afternoon standing with friends watching our boys play football, turning to my friend’s husband I blurted out “I know I’m wearing the trousers in my marriage but I just don’t know how to take them off!!”
I'll never forget the look on his face as he turned to me and said “wow. This is a big conversation for another time..”
This was the moment I realised that to have the relationship I wanted, something in me needed to change
I learned how to let a man lead. Not in a 'I-have-no-say-and-his-word-is-law' kind of a way.
But in a way that a man’s able to show me who he is and what he's capable of.
Is he willing to wear the trousers?
Is he willing to step up in a loving way?
Is he a good leader?
If like I was, you’re busy trying to fix, change, control and mould him into the man you want you’ll miss his subtle communication. (I created The Inner Boy Masterclass to give you my process of taking off the trousers and attracting the best relationship of my life.)
My (now ex) husband was telling me clearly with his actions that he couldn’t give me the close, safe, cherishing love I wanted so badly.
Once I let myself see that, it became so much easier to leave.
#2. Learn how to be vulnerable
How to be vulnerable? Wow! I was the armoured girl. I was a thinker not a feeler.
If you've spent much of your life as a hyper independent woman, then vulnerability might feel like something to be avoided at all costs!
It's far easier to think, problem solve and strategise than to feel.
I was quick to share my thoughts and opinions (which came across to my husband loud and clear as criticism btw)
I thought getting respect for my thinking would get me more love.
But i found the opposite was true. By being vulnerable, we get our feelings cherished and that made me feel more loved than ever before.
No man ever said, "As soon as I saw how great she solved problems for me I just knew I loved her and had to marry her!"
As soon as you learn to be vulnerable in a way that's strong and grounded you'll feel so much love and attraction coming your way.
A man’s urge to cherish and protect is activated when you open your heart, share vulnerably and let him in.
Your feminine vulnerability is your strength, not your weakness! What a game changer for this sensitive armoured girl!
#3. Never give up!
Holding the vision for the relationship you want, and also being clear about the relationships you don't want, Is one of the first most impactful ways to attract incredible love.
I finally dared to admit that my feminine heart deeply desired (and deserved!) to feel cherished, adored and safe in my man’s love.
Choosing your allies is vital here, choosing people who will challenge you and have your back, be around women who are learning and growing, this will give you support and momentum.
There were so many times I wanted to give up dating. So many times I was ready to delete the app so I told myself that even if I didn't meet him until I was 82, I wasn't going to give up! Ever!!
I was on the verge of deleting one of the 3 dating apps I was on.
Something stopped me, I remembered my process, heard my own voice in my head saying, “stick with it girl, your amazing man is looking for you… stay visible so he can find you”…
…….and the very next day I met Charlie on that app!
We met for coffee, and I felt good, I felt calm and curious and I came away with a smile.
I didn't feel huge chemistry, excitement or butterflies, but I knew by then that was okay. (the chemistry and butterflies definitely grew;)
My one wish for you my darling, is that you learn to become turned off the high excitement, the adrenaline, the rollercoaster of hope and disappointment, and you become turned on to the quiet, solid, steady, safe, feeling in your heart and your belly.
Warmest Love
Naomie 🧡