What To Do If He Says He Doesn't Love You Anymore- (This may save your relationship)

What to do when your partner says he doesn't love you anymore.

Those words would be devastating to hear, incredibly hard to hear for anybody, if your long-term partner or your husband says that they don't love you anymore, but it doesn't necessarily spell the end of the relationship.

Sometimes, if your relationship is abusive or hostile or unfaithful, you have to dig deep and decide 'Does it still feel good to stay in this relationship or not?' 

But sometimes we can go through ups and downs of how much ‘in love’ feeling we have for our partner. 

Sometimes when somebody says 'I don't love you anymore’ it may also be that what they're saying is 'I don't love myself anymore, I don't love how I feel, I don't love my life, I feel lost, I feel confused and in my mind right now I think it must be because it's you because I'm with you and you're my nearest and dearest person.' 

But actually, it may not be that at all. If you feel in your gut, if you feel deep down that the relationship has just lost its way and that what you've had has been really really good, if you know deep down there's really something worth saving, then I'd like you take a note of the emotions you feel. First off, upon hearing those words you may notice a whole load of feelings come up and a whole load of upset coming up. 

You may notice the defences and the barriers coming up, all those walls we have to protect our vulnerability, those walls we have to protect our heart, and the walls we have to protect us from pain. 

They may start to show up on the outside as being defensive, closed and cold. You may be tempted to say things like 'Well I can't be with someone who doesn't love me then, maybe you should just go'. 

But if you know deep down, that this is worth saving and that you're not willing to walk away yet, then I want to give you a powerful script to try and see if it fits for you.

So if he or she says to you 'I don't love you anymore', I want you to look at them and say 'Thank you for your honesty, that feels really hard to hear and that must have been really hard to say, so considering this, it feels right for me that you don't tell me you love me until you truly mean it'. Take the time you need I'm not going anywhere'. 

Then you turn around and get on with your life and do all the things you love, be with people you love being with, and learn.

You can turn this into a huge learning experience because going through that kind of pain, that kind of internal trauma can bring some of the biggest opportunities for personal growth, inner strength, and building your sense of self-love and respect.

This doesn't mean you should wait forever and I'm not even suggesting you wait, but it's about giving the relationship the opportunity to see if you can ride out some of the spiky waves. In a long-term relationship, it isn't all plane sailing.

We take the lows with the highs and this may just be a low. By giving a person the freedom to not feel love, it's like you're saying to him or to her 'Okay right now you are free not to love me, you are free not to feel love for me'.

Now of course my darling you want to be treated with respect and you want to be treated with kindness, so if there is a serious lack of respect, and a serious lack of kindness, then you need to really think about if this is a good situation for you. 

But when you know deep down, there's something really great, it takes huge strength and courage to be able to speak that script; even just saying it over to yourself, just notice how you feel.

Those are the words of an incredibly secure human being and someone who is becoming more secure and is committed to becoming more secure and more in their sovereign energy. 

Someone who trusts life and trusts that life will always turn out for them no matter what happens. Remember that you are like a tree and your roots go so deep in the earth that actually nothing can blow you over! 

I would love to hear how this lands with you and I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this. 

Here’s the link to my free audio training.

It's all yours, for free and I would love to hear from you. 

With love, Naomie.