Oh! I’ve got a thought on this.

For me, having dated for quite a few years, my attitude was key. If I had an attitude of curiosity and playfulness, I could navigate it much better. I had a coach throughout my dating process, which was exactly what I needed.

And there were times when I so badly wanted it to be all about him. After two dates, I’d think, he’s the one, I want him,and I’d want exclusivity right away.

My coach said, If you really want to give it a try and see what it feels like, go ahead.

So I did.

And I ended up on the floor, heartbroken.

But actually? I’m glad I did it. That experience—sometimes the depth of the pain, the disappointment, and even the elation—led me to clarity.

It helped me recognize:

• This is what I don’t want.

• This is what I do want.

• This is what being exclusive feels like after knowing someone for three days.

And then I had to ask myself, Do I want to go through that again?

It became a version of that phrase: Is this person in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?

Okay, maybe he’s not my lifetime guy. But that’s okay. He was still part of my love story.

So, while we would typically say, Don’t be exclusive too soon, I also believe if you’re desperate to do it—then do it with your eyes open.

Explore. Be curious. Notice:

• How does it feel?

• Do I feel anxious when I don’t hear from him after a couple of days?

• Am I thinking about him nonstop?

• Do I feel addicted to him?

All of these feelings give you information.