3 Good Girl Habits That Turn A Man Off
Here are three nice girl habits that you might not realize you're doing that actually turn off a masculine energy guy and stop him from committing to you and prioritizing you.
This isn't about you bending yourself into a pretzel, trying to change yourself just to get a man.
I talk a lot about feminine and masculine energy, and feminine energy is about taking OFF the layers we've put on top of that feminine self, rather than trying to layer anything new onto you.
You don't have to be someone you’re not to attract the love you want!
Right, let's jump in!
The first habit begins with the masculine energy man. He’s the man that wants to make you happy, he wants to know what you want and what you don't want.
He wants to know how to make you happy!
Often, people talk about feminine energy being as a 'passive go with the flow' energy and that can be misunderstood as an instruction to go with a guy's flow and not speak up for yourself, but nothing can be further from the truth.
A woman with her strong centered feminine energy will clearly express to a man what she does and doesn't want and what makes her happy.
A masculine-energy man loves that because it's clear.
He can win at making you happy and a man wants to win.
Masculine energy is naturally competitive, so he's going to want to win your heart, he is going to want to win at making you happy, and he wants to see your face light up with a smile.
These three good girl habits…..
Good Girl Habit #1: Not expressing what you want and especially not expressing what you don't want.
We as women, tend to be too reasonable and agreeable and while these may seem like good traits, they're not good for us when underneath we're stuffing down and hiding our real feelings.
Assertiveness coupled with warmth is very attractive to a man and it will make you feel strong.
When you don't speak up for what you really want, the need and desires you have don't go away, they remain inside of you and you’ll start to feel resentful.
This resentful and dissatisfied energy comes across in your vibe and the man can feel it.
Most often, he’ll believe he's done something wrong or that he just can't make you happy.
So many women, including myself in the past, fear speaking up in relationships with men for fear of being abandoned, fear of opening their hearts and being vulnerable.
Many women have told me 'I don't want to be vulnerable to a man because he might reject me once I’ve been open' but it's actually your vulnerability and your willingness to speak up for what you want that raises your value in a man's eyes.
This makes a masculine energy man, a relationship-minded man, more likely to commit to you.
I want to share now with you something that happened to me.
I was in a relationship after separating from my husband and I’d only recently started learning this feminine energy work.
I remember bringing up something that I felt uncomfortable with, something that I didn't want or something that I wanted in our relationship.
I shared with him how I felt and he said to me 'Naomie I love these conversations, you're so warm'.
What was incredible is that I was talking about things that I wasn't happy with, things he was doing and I said to him 'Your ex-wife would have felt the same feelings as me you know, the same feelings that I'm feeling she just didn't know how to express them'
At the time in my marriage, I also didn’t know how to express those feelings so they came across as blame. This unsatisfied resentful vibe was felt by him, rather than me expressing my real feelings and being true to myself.
Good Girl habit #2 Overgiving or over-functioning.
In dating, this can look like you planning all the dates.
You may feel that you won’t meet up with him or have dates with him unless you arrange them, you’re calling and messaging more than he calls and messages you.
You’re cooking regularly for him etc.
While there's nothing wrong with cooking for a guy it's all about making sure you’re ‘giving back’' so that his energy comes towards you and then you give it back to him. The idea here is to match his energy.
Another example of over-functioning is by trying to be extra helpful. 'How about you park here?' or 'I've got a really good idea about this...', suggesting the restaurants that you go to on your dates.
In relationships, this can look like you micromanage him. You manage his calendar, you manage his appointments with the doctor, it can be you booking the anniversary date, giving him advice etc.
These are all traits of over-functioning in a relationship.
I'll put a link in the description below to my recent video called 'Why you should never give a man advice', this will have so much useful information for you.
I used to think that giving advice was helpful but the reality is that men really don't like it, especially masculine energy men.
A man may take the gifts you give him and he will enjoy them but it will never make him want to prioritize you and commit to you in a wholehearted way because men are not wired that way.
To give more context on this, I want to share a story with you……
I was on a date with a guy back when I was dating and we got to talking about food as we were walking back from a restaurant.
I playfully said 'So is food the way to your heart then?' and he said 'Well no not really, but I did have a girlfriend and she was a really really good cook. She used to cook for me at her place all the time. She wasn't really right for me and it probably could have ended a lot earlier but she was such a good cook and the sex was great that I just stayed'.
When I heard him say that I thought…. he took the gifts she gave him but it was never going to lead to the commitment she wanted.
All her efforts did not make him want to commit to her anymore because she was cooking and being helpful and sexy.
Because sexy and helpful doesn't ignite the commitment urge in a man.
Good Girl Habit #3: Elevating him up onto a pedestal.
It's so easy to do this especially when you find a guy really attractive.
He's gorgeous, he seems really interesting and in the pool of men you've been meeting suddenly he's there and you think 'Oh my God, he's so amazing'.
What happens when you put him on a pedestal is that it will make you want to work really hard to impress him.
You'll find yourself putting his needs before your own, and so for example, you will be bending yourself and changing your schedule to fit in with him rather than feeling like he is pursuing you.
This can make you feel that you're less than him, so you end up working really hard to get his attention and his approval.
Somehow he’ll always feel out of reach and this will make you feel needy and anxious.
If you're feeling that way I totally get you darling. I've been there and when you're feeling that way you don't want to rock the boat for fear of him abandoning you and leaving.
What do we do instead?
These three good girl habits are all about working hard to get and keep his love, attention and devotion so one of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is to remember that everything you are looking for in him, or from him, you must first give to yourself.
If you’re looking for attention from him you can ask yourself where am I not giving myself attention in my life?
If you’re desperately looking for affection from him or to hear loving words, ask yourself how lovingly do I speak to myself?
Look in the mirror and give yourself some loving words...be your own cheerleader.
If you’re looking for fun, laughter and adventure in your life think about where you are now and how can you can give that to yourself.
Book some comedy nights with some girlfriends or go and do some things in your life that are fun.
How can you give yourself adoration and how can you give yourself love and commit to yourself in a regular way?
When you do that your whole vibe will shift. Your value in a guy's eyes will raise so that the guys who aren't making any effort will fall away and you'll get bored of them, making way for a man who wants to cherish and adore you and commit to you forever
Loads of love to you. Naomie