The Relationship Grief No One Warns You About
It was one of those quiet moments where memories come back through your senses more than your thoughts. Last week I visited my dad’s grave.
The sounds, the stillness, the smells, the familiarity of somewhere that holds a lot of history, took me right back to being 16.
And what surprised me wasn’t just missing him.
It was realising I was grieving the relationship we never got to have as adults.
The relationship that evolves from adolescence to adulthood.
The version of life that never got to unfold.
It made me think about something I see all the time after relationships end.
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t missing the man.
It’s missing the future you had already started living in your mind.
The trips you thought you’d take together.
The ordinary Sundays.
The sense that your life was moving somewhere with someone.
And when it ends, you don’t just lose a person.
You lose the version of life you’d quietly begun to relax into.
This is the part women often feel confused about.
Because logically, you might know the relationship wasn’t right.
You might even know you deserve more.
But emotionally… something still aches.
Not always for him —
But for what you believed was finally happening.
I recorded a podcast episode about this (for my new podcast The Adored Woman) because it’s one of the most misunderstood parts of dating and relationships.
We don’t just grieve people.
We grieve the future we attached to them.
And when you don’t understand that, two things tend to happen:
You either hold on too long
or
You try to shut your feelings down and “move on” too quickly.
Neither actually helps you choose better next time.
In the episode, I talk about:
Why this kind of grief is so powerful
How it keeps women emotionally tied to the wrong person
And how to keep your vision for love — without attaching it to the wrong man
Because the relationship you want is still possible.
It just isn’t tied to one specific person.
You can listen to the episode here on my podcast, The Adored Woman:
On Spotify or on Apple Podcasts (or wherever you listen to your podcasts)
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking
“I know he wasn’t right for me… so why is this still so hard?”
This one is recorded for you.
(Sending extra love to you if you're reading this, having been recently bereaved. My heart goes out to you.)
Warmest Love
Naomie 🧡
P.s I'd be delighted if you could follow the podcast, and if you like the episode, give The Adored Woman podcast a 5-star rating!
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